The admission everybody's waiting for.

Don't act so surprised.  You knew it all along.

The accusations have been getting out of hand.  Ever since the beginning of Ateneo's dominance in the UAAP, people have been trying to discredit them.  Just because the Ateneo de Manila University demands a higher tuition fee than most schools, everybody has assumed that we have the money to pay off referees and have them do our bidding.  Today, Team NFP will give them what they've been asking for all along:  an admission of guilt.  Yes, we have been cheating, and it's time you knew how.  Team NFP takes all responsibility.

• Team NFP has been greasing the rims of the basket of the opposing teams.  During the half, while everyone is looking at the cheerdancers, we wipe off the grease on one basket and grease the other one.  
• Team NFP has put the substance known as Flubber on Kiefer's soles, granting him superior jumping ability and otherworldly athletic prowess.  This way, he is able to beat Norbert Torres to rebounds and dunk the ball on some occasions. 

Guilty as charged.

• Team NFP has been lacing the other teams' uniforms with a Slovenian itching powder, making them lose their concentration and composure during games.  The Blue Eagles take advantage accordingly.  
• Team NFP has called on the spirit of the late John Havlicek to provide Tonino Gonzaga with unparalleled defensive intensity and outstanding shooting.
• Team NFP has provided stilts for some random dude and now he's the favorite to win the league's MVP in his first season.
• Team NFP has gifted Emman with the shoes of Hermes himself to grant him speed and the passing ability that will be the envy of others.  I bet you didn't know that Hermes was quite the point guard, didn't you?

Yes, we are responsible for all the Ateneo victories so far this year.  I believe that we have done a pretty good job ensuring that no team stands a chance against us.  The talent that this team has is not enough to win.  It needs all the help we can get.  Teams that are allegedly better than us man-for-man are not in the Final Four because we cheated.  So there.  Go suck on that.

by Mr. Pink